Accusations of Being A Nomad

[eiremauve]

Title: Accusations of Being A Nomad
Author: eiremauve
Rating: PG
Warnings: None
Word Count: 66
Prompt: 
A/N: If I had spent more time on this, maybe it would be better! And more complex. >_< Next time, I swear I won't wait until the last minute.

You say that I am a nomad,
and should change.
But yet you forced us to leave,
to go out of Lenapehoking, our home,
where my family used to fish,
and go west to a place we've never been,
to accommodate your lust to live
in what was one our home.
We used to only move with the season,
and now we move when you will.

Comments

[alethessa.livejournal.com]

I like this, the mentioning of the roundabout logic of the people to whom the poem is addressed.

The last line... I'm not sure if you intended it this way, but there's a bit of a double meaning that I can see in it that seems pretty interesting. It's the "we move when you want us to" versus the "we'll move back home when you get out of our way" that struck me (as much as I'm not sure how it really works there). Oh well, first read gives first impressions, hmm?

I also think that it's good that it doesn't necessarily flow so much as bob up and down on the waves. It fits the prompt nicely.

[eiremauve.livejournal.com]

Thank you very much! Oh, 'bob up and down', nice metaphor! :)